The Commission on Presidential Debates announced this evening that Gwen Ifill, the PBS news commentator slated to moderate tomorrow night's Vice Presidential Debate will be replace with either Oprah Winfrey or Whoopie Goldberg.  Mr. Frank J. Fahrenkopf, Jr., speaking on behalf of the Commission stated, "We were extremely embarrassed by the book and asked Gwen for an advanced copy to read.  Once we read it, we realized she was not the person we wanted to moderate this debate.  She's clearly not far enough in the tank for Barack.  There was a paragraph in Chapter 7 that was less than flattering when Gwen eludes that Senator Obama has basically done nothing of substance in his political life.  Gwen also seems to question whether Senator Obama is actually the 12th Imam. Of course he is....we're negotiating now for Oprah or Whoopie and we're not taking any chances with this debate.  Hell, Biden is an idiot.  Just the other day he said FDR went on TV in 1929 and in the past he's asked a paralyzed state Senator to stand up and be recognized.  This guy can't be trusted to win this thing with a fair moderator so we're putting in the fix,  We'll announce our moderator in the morning."